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by Ryland Jones
Have I been renewing myself spiritually lately? Have I actually been filling my cup? This is something that came to my mind recently while I was going over my quarterly review. On the surface, you’d expect my answer to be a resounding
“YES!” because I work in campus ministry at a Catholic high school. Attached to the school, there is a chapel that offers two daily Masses and adoration all day. Two of my closest friends at work are priests. I get to discuss faith with students daily. I even have a holy hour locked into my schedule every single day. But surprisingly, I don’t always feel spiritually full. To be honest, as the school year has gone on I’ve felt less and less spiritually renewed in my day to day life. And sometimes I even catch myself wrestling with my faith. How could I be so surrounded by so many holy people, moments, and activities without my faith being constantly strengthened?
I figure that this is something you, dear reader, may be struggling with as well. Oftentimes I refer to this issue as faith fatigue. It’s an easier trap for us to fall into than one might expect! Our world is full of difficulties and distractions wherever we look. It’s in our nature to constantly be pushing ahead without noticing how miraculous the events and world surrounding us are. Plus, whenever we do stop to look at the present we can easily focus on the negative and stressful aspects of our lives instead of the gifts God constantly gives us. These are things that we must wrestle with for our faith to be strengthened and renewed. It’s not just the two of us though. So many people can struggle to see God, even when he’s standing right in front of them! To no one's surprise though, God knows that we will have these struggles. He’s always fully prepared to meet us with his grace, and scripture shows us many examples of people dealing with this exact same thing.
Check these out::
- The book of Psalms tells accounts of the many victories of King David, but it is also full of his pain and questioning. Even the great King David lost sight of God’s grace from time to time, but he always came back.
-Simon Peter denied Christ three times on the night he was taken by Roman soldiers. He often exclaimed how certain he was in his faith, but his fears got the best of him. If he was really as sure of his faith as he said he was, why would he ever be afraid?
-Moses fled from his people into the wilderness because he didn’t believe he could save them. He didn’t go back until God appeared in the burning bush and commanded him to lead the people again. God was even gracious enough to allow him to get help from his brother Aaron.
-Sarah didn’t believe she would ever have a child with Abraham even after God promised her multiple times that she would. She thought it was impossible because of her age. We know how that turned out. She bore a son, Isaac who would continue the lineage of his parents.
These individuals walked closely with God in their lives. They were focused on Him far more often than the others around them. They regularly spoke with Him. They watched miracles happen in person. Yet, they all experienced moments of weakness. Come to think of it, even the Son of God had moments of difficulty. If the nature of our humanity weighed heavily enough on Jesus Christ for him to beg for God's will to change in the garden of Gethsemane, then how on Earth are we supposed to stand a chance?
I’m surrounded by my faith every day. Everywhere I turn there are holy people, places, and activities. In spite of this, I found myself sitting in my office trying to get to the bottom of why my faith felt lacking and dull. Then, out of nowhere these words came to mind: “You can leave the sink on all day and never fill a cup” Simple? Yes. Meaningful? Absolutely. I wasn’t feeling refreshed because I was too focused on going through the motions of my faith. I was too distracted to see how amazing all of these gifts from God were, and instead I just shallowly acted them out hoping for something to change. My mind was all wrong. As soon as I realized this I began to pray. I prayed for God to open my eyes to how amazing it is to sit with Jesus in adoration. I prayed to realize how miraculous the events of every single Mass are. I prayed to see the incredible ways God is working in every coworker, student, loved one, and stranger in my life. I prayed to see God in everything.
BOOM! It really works! Everything started to change for the better, and my faith was absolutely feeling rejuvenated. It’s not always an immediate fix, but it was absolutely noticeable. It just took a bit of willingness and the courage to ask for help. God wants us to know him. He wants us to see him everywhere, because he is everywhere. We just have to make sure that we are actively looking, and that we turn to him in those moments of hardship. He will always answer us with his never ending grace. It’s easy to get tunnel vision when it comes to our daily lives. Everyday tasks get monotonous, and the days can all blur together after a while. When you notice this, turn to God. Take a step back, and pray for a change of perspective. He won’t hesitate to remind you about how wonderful and miraculous our existence truly is. We are all blessed to be here together! Do all that you can to remember that.